Writing a profile on an online dating site that gets attention is one of the most important things that you can do. Your profile is going to be one of the things that can make or break your chances of getting a lot of attention or getting zilch. Most guys end up getting closer to zilch. And then they walk around saying that online dating does not work. Truth is, most men write some of the worst profiles and that is the reason why they get very few bites.

One of the most common themes that guys use, is to try and come across like the sweet and sensitive type. They will write about how they like walks on the beach, moon lit strolls, and candle lit dinners. They write this stuff, not because they actually like it most of the time, but because they think this is what women want to hear.

The big problem with writing out a profile like that is… it sounds like every other clueless guy that is on these kinds of sites. Seriously, if you were to look at 100 guys profiles, I would wager that at least 30 of them are using the same exact storyline. After a while it all sounds the same and it all sounds pretty fake. Most women can see right through this.

When you hook up the profile, you don’t want to sound like every other clueless guy. You want to sound original. Not only that, you don’t want to sell yourself short. You don’t have to come off as brash and arrogant, but you also don’t want to come across as sheepish either.

Tell your real story, just juice it up a bit. Tell about how you like to do guy stuff. It’s okay. Straight women want to meet guys who do guy stuff. It’s a lot more believable and real if you mention that you like to go to Jets games on the weekends with your buddies and have a little fun than to say that you just want to find someone that you can share your soul with.

If you are successful in your career, put that out there. If you are not so successful career wise, find a way to spin it so that it does not seem like you have a hapless job. Whatever you do, if you are going to get dates and get some attention from an online dating site, you have to be original and you cannot sell yourself short.

If you’re single, or if you just have a few poor single fools, uh, friends, left out there, you know, when it comes to dating, it’s a brave new world. For all my spiky jewelry and witty sarcasm, I’ll be the first to admit, I’m a coward in this area. If dating is a game, as so many (obviously married) people like to refer to it, I’ve been happily warming the bench with the lion from Oz and the little nose picker whose dad thought sports would toughen him up. As a writer, I’m used to sending my writing out into the world and watching the rejection letters come trickling back. It’s difficult, but at least I could learn from those rejections. I could rewrite, revise, or, worse comes to worse, start again.
When it’s you you’re sending out into the world, it’s even scarier. Short of undergoing more plastic surgeries than the Barbie wanna-be featured on Inside Edition, we can’t rewrite ourselves. We can, however, rewrite our profiles-again, and again, and again. The aim of these profiles is to give potential dates and mates a glimpse into one’s head and heart. The writer is supposed to self-reflect and then produce a piece which perfectly captures his essence in a mere 4000 characters. Most of the time, the best one can hope for is to amuse another poor single person taking a shot at online dating. Clearly this is an evil sham created by some bitter married person who loves seeing single people make fools of themselves, which is not hard to do when writing a profile and posting it for the world (at least the single world) to see.
Truly, these profiles are what make dating sites hilarious. If you’ve never been on one, find a friend who is and spend a few hours reading what people write on there. It’s far better than Prozac, especially if you’re lucky enough to be in a serious relationship. As a “female searching for males,” I can only view guys’ profiles, but there is plenty there to keep me amused. For instance, I never knew how many single men in the Massachusetts area enjoyed walking on the beach. Really, I spend all summer on the beaches of the Cape. If there were that many singles guys walking the coastline, they should be washing up at my feet like dead horseshoe crabs in August. And then there is the plethora of men who love serious conversation, which, as a woman, I define as conversation involving the sharing of values, emotions, and/or desires.
As a writer and just an all-around nosy person, I listen in on a lot of conversations, and I grew up crashing my older brother’s parties and eavesdropping on everyone I could. There were lots of heated conversations-usually concerning sports or politics, and nearly always following heavy drinking, but other than the occasional drunken, “I love you, man,” I wouldn’t have qualified any of them as open outpourings of one’s soul. It seems being online, in an environment where the chance of your best friends reading your profile and questioning your manliness is slim, makes guys braver. Sometimes, this is a good thing. I find it endearing when a guy can admit to being a geek or liking to cuddle. Other times these guys (and girls, I’m sure) would do better to remember that someone is out there reading these profiles and trying to glean a first impression. It’s all about marketing yourself-carefully. Saying you’re close to your family, great. Admitting you’re a momma’s boy, not a turn on. One attempt at a serious, sexy, or thoughtful pose for a picture, intriguing. Using the wink and finger-gun pose in every picture (all of which you clearly took of yourself), disturbing.
In fairness, I can only chide these people because I know my own profile is hideous. No one can manage to write about themselves and sound sincere, but not pompous; funny, but not obnoxious; intelligent, but not bookish; and compassionate, but not sappy, all in one paragraph. So what you end up with is something between a cliché Hallmark card and a poorly executed stand-up routine. The best you can hope for is that someone of the opposite sex will read your profile and chuckle, able to read between the lines of the ridiculousness enough to catch of glimpse of who you really are. Most often, I’m willing to give a guy the benefit of the doubt in hopes that a few good men will do the same for me. I may not be called to the Kennedy Center anytime soon, but at least I’m willing to step up to the plate, and I’m thankful for the brave souls of the other gender who are willing to do the same. Play ball!

Everybody is online trying to either look for old flames, or find new ones. Whether you are single, in a relationship or married, the temptation of dating online is just too good for us not to have a “little look.” The revolution online in the 21st Century has re-adjusted a lot of people’s concept of how to go about starting a relationship, but unfortunately just like in real life, there are only a small proportion of people who are any good at the “dating Game,” and the rest? Well, the rest try their best but always put it down to bad luck when they don’t find a date. Here are some tips on the do’s and don’ts of using an online Dating site.

You should always have a good picture of yourself attached to your profile. This is fundamental stuff, but you would be surprised at the amount of people who are either too lazy or don’t think that it is important enough. I can assure you that it is, as without a picture you are cutting down on the amount of people who will look at your profile.

You should never write about yourself in a negative way when constructing your profile. The image you portray in words is the first impression you give, and if you seem to be miserable or lacking confidence, this will drive people away.

You should always write a profile that is light, not too personal, and is positive, because this gives an impression of a person that is good to be with and as such will get other members interested in getting to know you.

You should never say too much about yourself in your initial profile. A bit of mystery only adds to the illusion, and if you have been interesting enough in what you have said, members reading your profile will want to know more about you. Reveal yourself in any ensuing emails or live chats, slowly, and try to ask more questions about the person you are conversing with rather than talk about yourself. People love to answer questions about themselves and you will be astonished just how many contacts you will keep by doing this.

Never be rude to anybody who contacts you.

Try to avoid old well used phrases and expressions as this show you are not an individual. LOL springs to mind as a particular none starter.

Remember, with internet dating you have all the time in the world to construct you online persona. If you are thinking of trying your luck, then use the above tips and you will get great results.